The place below the light

Under all that charm,
was a dark place.
A place hidden from the bright blinding light of positivity,
because it wouldn't help a goddamn thing.
It was the place where I kept all the people I lost.
The ones I have hidden so their loss doesn't paralyse me,
doesn't make me dysfunctional- both mind and body,
so their loss is something I know is there,
but I don't let it surface back to my edges.
Nobody can know about that place,
it is sacred, it is my inexplicable weakness and
the one thing that can cut my legs off anytime it wants to.