Tell me how

I need you to tell me, love
That after you left me on the verge of tears that day,
How did you drive back?
How did you eat a piece of that chicken with your friends,
when the first thing I tried to eat made me nauseous enough to pass out.
How did you sip that beer,
when a sip of water was a task for me because I was shaking so bad,
How did you laugh with them,
when you knew I was in a pool of my own tears at home..
How did you not call me,
when you knew I would have it in my hands- waiting for you..
How did you convince yourself that you're a good person,
when you're just an asshole with a nice smile. 

The circle of hurt

You shook my world in two lines and asked me if I am crying.
No I wasn't.
I wasn't crying, darling- I was ruined.
I was thinking of how I will stitch myself back this time,
how long will this wound take to recover?
I thought you'd drained me of it but hey!
I bled again. Scarlet red- reeking of your name.
So I will convince myself again tonight,
that I have nothing left to give you and that my heart doesn't have your name over it.
And for the next time this happens again,
You'll whisper you're sorry and I will tell you to just get me a band-aid.